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Laws of Human Nature

Understanding yourself and understanding people is very important. This book teaches you how to better understand yourself and how to better undestand people.

  • When you feel an emotion, it happens in the reptilian part of your brain, then goes to the mamallian or limbic brain, which our neocortex, the part that controls cogniton and language must process. [24]

  • Feeling an emotion and translating it into human language occur in different parts of the brain, which is why we struggle to explain why we are feeling a certain way [24]. Dalio explains this as well, read my review of Principles by Ray Dalio

Different types of cognitive biases. I have done so much reading on cognitive biases, most of this was review so I skipped this section [29]

  • We are all narcissistic to a degree, we naturally feel alone so we creaete a sense of self that is worth loving [43]

  • This isn't necessarily bad, it is natural. The problem is when we constantly crave external validation for our narcissim and it never fills us

  • 3 types of narcissists

  1. Deep narcisissts, they con
  2. Functional narcissist
  3. Healthy narcissist

He then gives 4 stories of historical figures that fall along the narcissism spectrum.

I found this section so engaging that it reconfirmed my belief that telling stories is THE most effective way of communicating an idea. [54]

  1. The Complete Control Narcissist: Joseph Stalin - Stalin was very friendly and pretended to be one of the people. Pretended to hate being the center of attention. Some people tried to overthrow him, his asistan Sergey Kirov told Stalin of this attempt. Plan backfired because then Stalin became insecure and knew that some people did not like him. [54]

  • Greene asks, how can Stalin be so narcisstic yet be so charming? In the early part of their life they learn that the best way to get the validation from others is by being charming and feigning empathy in others. [56]

  • Some examples of Complete Control Narcissist: Donald Trump, Bill Clinton, Elizabeth Holmes? What are some that you can think of.

  • Makes me reflect on my ambitions and my desires. Why do I want to be succesful in life and in business. Is it because of an internal drive or because I want validation from others. Ultimately it's a case of both and I think being driven by a certain degree of external validation can be healthy. The trick is to keep a healtyh balance and not become dependent on external validatin

  1. The Theatrical Narcissist - Jean de Belciel (1602-1655) - Nun in france that pretends to be possessed. Accuses a male in the area of assaulting her. Sounds very similiar to the Salem witch trials.
  • Is there a correlation between people living in opressive societies and people willing to go to extreme ends for validation?

Soften People's Resistance by Confirming their Self-Opinion

  • Most people think they are an awesome, good person
  • The best way to deal with this is by doing actions and saying things that confirm this belief they have of themselves
  • Lyndon B. Johnson was able to get a lot of power in the senate by befriending people and making them feel they were smart.
  • Anecdotally, I listen to this basketball podcast called Jalen and Jacoby and I rememeber the story Jacob tells of meeting with Magic Johnson.
  • Jacoby says that when you talk to Magic Johnson he makes you feel like you're the most important person in the world. Andrew Schulz has an almost identical description of Drake and I have heard similiar things about Bill Clinton

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  • Three ways to convince someone: [186]
  1. accidentally challenge theyir opionion of themself
  2. Netural position, neither confirm or deny
  3. Actively confirm their self opinion
  • There is an interesting ethical debate about the morality behind this. I think Greene brilliantly and bluntly addresses the topic when he says:

"Finally, the greatest obstacily you will face in develiping these powers comes from a cultural prejudice against the very idea of influence...'Why can't we just be honest?' First, when people tell you such things, you should be on guard. We humans cannot stand feelings of powerlessness. We need to have influence or we become misrable. The honestymongers are no different, but because they need to believe in their angelic qualities, they cannot square this self-opinion with the need to have influence. And so they often become passive-agressive, pouting and making others feel guilty as a means of getting what they want. Never take people who say such things at face value." [187]

  • I've noticed that when debating certain topics people usually fall into 2 camps. People who talk about the world the way it is and people who talk about the world the way they believe it SHOULD be.

  • "Wheny you use people's words against them it has a hypnotic effect. How can they not follow what you suggest when it is exactly the words they have used" [197]