-
Notifications
You must be signed in to change notification settings - Fork 0
/
Copy pathindex.xml
345 lines (325 loc) · 46.3 KB
/
index.xml
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
31
32
33
34
35
36
37
38
39
40
41
42
43
44
45
46
47
48
49
50
51
52
53
54
55
56
57
58
59
60
61
62
63
64
65
66
67
68
69
70
71
72
73
74
75
76
77
78
79
80
81
82
83
84
85
86
87
88
89
90
91
92
93
94
95
96
97
98
99
100
101
102
103
104
105
106
107
108
109
110
111
112
113
114
115
116
117
118
119
120
121
122
123
124
125
126
127
128
129
130
131
132
133
134
135
136
137
138
139
140
141
142
143
144
145
146
147
148
149
150
151
152
153
154
155
156
157
158
159
160
161
162
163
164
165
166
167
168
169
170
171
172
173
174
175
176
177
178
179
180
181
182
183
184
185
186
187
188
189
190
191
192
193
194
195
196
197
198
199
200
201
202
203
204
205
206
207
208
209
210
211
212
213
214
215
216
217
218
219
220
221
222
223
224
225
226
227
228
229
230
231
232
233
234
235
236
237
238
239
240
241
242
243
244
245
246
247
248
249
250
251
252
253
254
255
256
257
258
259
260
261
262
263
264
265
266
267
268
269
270
271
272
273
274
275
276
277
278
279
280
281
282
283
284
285
286
287
288
289
290
291
292
293
294
295
296
297
298
299
300
301
302
303
304
305
306
307
308
309
310
311
312
313
314
315
316
317
318
319
320
321
322
323
324
325
326
327
328
329
330
331
332
333
334
335
336
337
338
339
340
341
342
343
344
345
<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?>
<rss version="2.0"
xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/"
xmlns:wfw="http://wellformedweb.org/CommentAPI/"
xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/"
xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom"
xmlns:sy="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/syndication/"
xmlns:slash="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/slash/"
>
<channel>
<title>The Coping Kit</title>
<atom:link href="http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/?feed=rss2" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" />
<link>http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete</link>
<description>Expand Your Coping Tool Kit to Enhance Your Mental Health</description>
<lastBuildDate>Sun, 20 Oct 2013 00:45:11 +0000</lastBuildDate>
<language>en-US</language>
<sy:updatePeriod>hourly</sy:updatePeriod>
<sy:updateFrequency>1</sy:updateFrequency>
<item>
<title>No. 145: Look For Movement</title>
<link>http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/?p=1314</link>
<comments>http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/?p=1314#comments</comments>
<pubDate>Sun, 20 Oct 2013 00:43:49 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator>engageblog</dc:creator>
<category><![CDATA[Mindful Distraction]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Self-Soothing]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[awareness]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[breathing exercises]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[connection]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[mindfulness]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[relaxation]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[time-out]]></category>
<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/?p=1314</guid>
<description><![CDATA[This week, to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing... I will practice taking a break from thinking and focusing on something relaxing to improve the moment. <span class="ellipsis">…</span> <span class="more-link-wrap"><a href="http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/?p=1314" class="more-link"><span>Read more →</span></a></span>]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>This week, to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing…</p>
<p><a href="http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/wp-content/uploads/blankcopingkete3.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-150" title="Coping Kete" src="http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/wp-content/uploads/blankcopingkete3-200x300.jpg" alt="" width="200" height="300" /></a>… I will practice taking a break from thinking and focusing on something relaxing to improve the moment.</p>
<p>This week, when I notice myself caught up in my thoughts, I will pause and mindfully look around me or out the window at all that is moving. For just a minute or two, I will mindfully breathe and notice all that is moving in the space where I am and, if I am indoors, all that is moving outside my space, through the window.</p>
<p>As I stand or sit, I will simply observe the movements of the things around me. When I notice my mind wandering back to my thoughts of the future, I will congratulate myself for being mindful of my thoughts and turn my attention back to noticing the movement of the things around me – the direction the grass is blowing in, the way the flowers in the garden throw their heads around, the way the trees move, the laundry on the washing line and how it all moves together.</p>
<p>After a minute or two, I will return to my day and what I was doing.</p>
<p>Once I am comfortable interrupting a thought and making myself mindful of the movement around me, I will add ‘Look for Movement’ to my <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><span style="color: #ff0000;"><a title="Your Personal Coping Kete" href="http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/?page_id=353"><span style="color: #ff0000; text-decoration: underline;">Personal Coping Kete</span></a></span></span> as a way of giving myself space when I am distressed. If I can give myself space when I am feeling stressed or distressed, I will give my mind and body time to rest and make it easier for me to face the things that are tough. If I can give myself space before I react to my distressing feelings, I might react in a different way that has more helpful consequences for me in the long-run.</p>
<p>This week’s Coping Kete strategy comes from a member of the public who attended <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><span style="color: #ff0000; text-decoration: underline;"><a title="The Butterfly Diaries Volume 1" href="http://www.engagenz.co.nz/?page_id=5287" target="_blank"><span style="color: #ff0000; text-decoration: underline;">The Butterfly Diaries</span></a> </span></span>launch on the 13th of October and decorated the launch tent with a strategy that helps them feel better when things are tough.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/wp-content/uploads/2013-10-13-18.13.31.jpg"><img class="alignleft wp-image-1316" title="2013-10-13 18.13.31" src="http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/wp-content/uploads/2013-10-13-18.13.31-1024x768.jpg" alt="" width="472" height="354" /></a></p>
<p> </p>
<p><span style="font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;">The Butterfly says: “</span><em style="font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;">I Take a break from thinking sometimes and go outside and notice how everything is moving in the wind.</em><span style="font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;">“ </span></p>
]]></content:encoded>
<wfw:commentRss>http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/?feed=rss2&p=1314</wfw:commentRss>
<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
</item>
<item>
<title>No. 144: Be Mindful of My Choices</title>
<link>http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/?p=1311</link>
<comments>http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/?p=1311#comments</comments>
<pubDate>Wed, 02 Oct 2013 08:57:17 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator>engageblog</dc:creator>
<category><![CDATA[Engagement]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Mindful Distraction]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[acceptance]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[awareness]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[coping]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[goal-setting]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[mindfulness]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[problem-solving]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[time-out]]></category>
<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/?p=1311</guid>
<description><![CDATA[This week, to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing...Coping Kete... I will practice noticing all the different ways I can control my outcomes by paying attention to the choices I make each day and mindfully choosing the option that moves me towards more of what I want.... <span class="ellipsis">…</span> <span class="more-link-wrap"><a href="http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/?p=1311" class="more-link"><span>Read more →</span></a></span>]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>This week, to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing…</p>
<p><a href="http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/wp-content/uploads/blankcopingkete3.jpg"><img class="alignleft wp-image-150" style="margin-left: 5px; margin-right: 5px;" title="Coping Kete" src="http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/wp-content/uploads/blankcopingkete3-200x300.jpg" alt="" width="180" height="270" /></a>… I will practice noticing all the different ways I can control my outcomes by paying attention to the choices I make each day and mindfully choosing the option that moves me towards more of what I want.</p>
<p>This week, as I move through each day, I will practice being mindful of each of the small choices I make. When I notice that I am making a choice, I will practice pausing to observe what options I am choosing between and what the possible outcomes of each of the options might be. I will then mindfully choose the option that will bring me closer to what I want for my future – whether that is how I want to feel later in the day or what I want to be doing next year.</p>
<p>I’ll start out doing this with the small choices I make, such as what I eat and drink, what I watch on TV, what I work on next, where I sit and everyday things like that.</p>
<p>Noticing how my small choices change the way I experience my daily life, might help me to be make more mindful decisions, that effect me in more positive ways. Slowing down and thinking about our choices is especially hard when we are distressed, which is why we so often do and say things we regret when we feel angry or upset. If I practice slowing down and being mindful of my choices in everyday moments, it might be easier to slow myself down and think about my choices when I’m distressed. In this way, I will learn how to hold my own responses and act based on what I want and need, not just on what I feel.</p>
<p>This week, as I notice myself making a choice, I will pause, ask myself what the other options are, think about the possible consequences and what consequences I want, then choose the option that brings me closer the outcome I desire.</p>
<p>When I am comfortable pausing myself and observing my options before I make everyday kinds of choices, I will add <em>‘Be Mindful of my Choices’</em> to my <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><span style="color: #ff0000;"><a title="Your Personal Coping Kete" href="http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/?page_id=353" target="_blank"><span style="color: #ff0000; text-decoration: underline;">Personal Coping Kete</span></a></span></span> as a way of coping during times of stress and distress. By being mindful of the choices I am making and choosing the option that brings me closer to what I want for my future, I will be able to guide myself through the tough moments in a way that has a positive effect on me, rather than getting caught up in my distress and making coping decisions that make things harder in the long-run. The simple act of stopping to think through the options and make myself mindful of what I want and need will help me practice giving myself a delay between feeling and acting, a mini time-out to have a little think. Doing this could be a form of mindful distraction, moving my mind away from how I feel in the moment to what I want in the future and what my choices are.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
<wfw:commentRss>http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/?feed=rss2&p=1311</wfw:commentRss>
<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
</item>
<item>
<title>No. 143: Finding Excuses to Get Outside</title>
<link>http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/?p=1302</link>
<comments>http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/?p=1302#comments</comments>
<pubDate>Sat, 07 Sep 2013 22:52:18 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator>engageblog</dc:creator>
<category><![CDATA[Engagement]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Mindful Distraction]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Self-Soothing]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[awareness]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[coping]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[mindfulness]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[nurturing]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[physical needs]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[relaxation]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[time-out]]></category>
<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/?p=1302</guid>
<description><![CDATA[This week, to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing...
...I will find excuses to spend small amounts of time outside and work them into my day. <span class="ellipsis">…</span> <span class="more-link-wrap"><a href="http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/?p=1302" class="more-link"><span>Read more →</span></a></span>]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>This week, to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing…</p>
<p><a href="http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/wp-content/uploads/blankcopingkete3.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-150" style="margin-left: 10px; margin-right: 10px;" title="Coping Kete" src="http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/wp-content/uploads/blankcopingkete3-200x300.jpg" alt="" width="200" height="300" /></a>…I will find excuses to spend small amounts of time outside and work them into my day. To start with, I will make a list of all the things I can do outside around my house or around my work or anywhere in between.</p>
<p><strong>For example:</strong><br />
Weed the garden<br />
Check the mail<br />
Water the garden<br />
Hang out washing<br />
Bring in washing<br />
Read the newspaper in the sun<br />
Have lunch at the local park<br />
Eat breakfast on the lawn<br />
Drink my coffee under a tree<br />
Walk to the dairy for milk<br />
etc… etc…. etc…</p>
<p>Then, as I move through my week, I will practice giving myself time outside to do these things. I might schedule them in to my diary to help me remember to do them or I might be able to remember whenever the opportunity presents itself. When I find myself outside I will mindfully observe the environment around me and how it feels to be in it doing what I am doing. This will allow me to practice engaging with environments that are soothing and enjoyable as part of my everyday life. It might also help me get all the Vitamin D I need. Vitamin D comes from the sun.</p>
<p>Once I am used to enjoying outside as part of daily life, I will add it to my <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><span style="color: #ff0000;"><a title="Your Personal Coping Kete" href="http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/?page_id=353" target="_blank"><span style="color: #ff0000; text-decoration: underline;">Personal Coping Kete</span></a></span></span> as a way to self-soothe or distract myself during times of stress and distress. Taking myself outside and mindfully doing something else when I am distressed might give me the space I need to feel more calm before I respond to my distressing feelings.</p>
<div></div>
]]></content:encoded>
<wfw:commentRss>http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/?feed=rss2&p=1302</wfw:commentRss>
<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
</item>
<item>
<title>No. 142: The No Sandwich</title>
<link>http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/?p=1296</link>
<comments>http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/?p=1296#comments</comments>
<pubDate>Sun, 25 Aug 2013 02:40:04 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator>engageblog</dc:creator>
<category><![CDATA[Expression & Support]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[awareness]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Communication]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[self-care]]></category>
<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/?p=1296</guid>
<description><![CDATA[This week, to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing...
Coping Kete...I will practice being assertive by using 'the no sandwich' in my daily life when I find myself wanting to say 'No' to something I have been asked. <span class="ellipsis">…</span> <span class="more-link-wrap"><a href="http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/?p=1296" class="more-link"><span>Read more →</span></a></span>]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>This week, to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing…<br />
<a href="http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/wp-content/uploads/blankcopingkete3.jpg"><img class="alignleft wp-image-150" title="Coping Kete" src="http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/wp-content/uploads/blankcopingkete3-200x300.jpg" alt="" width="160" height="240" /></a>…I will practice being assertive by using ‘the no sandwich’ in my daily life when I find myself wanting to say ‘No’ to something I have been asked.</p>
<p>The No Sandwich involves saying ‘No’ as the middle part of a three-statement sandwich: Empathy Statement + No I Can’t + Empathy Statement. Saying no this way tells the person, I understand what you need and it does matter to me, even though I cannot do what is being asked, I feel for your situation and our relationship is important to me. This is a useful way of saying no without offending people.</p>
<p>This week, I will practice the No Sandwich in the times I would ordinarily say no to something day-to-day and non-emotional, like if I am offered a food or beverage I don’t want at the time or asked to go out when I am not free. I will use these unemotional situations to practice the technique.</p>
<p><strong>The No Sandwich Goes Like This…</strong></p>
<ol>
<li>A positive or empathy statement about what has been asked or why it has been asked. E.G. “<em>That sounds like it could be fun” or “I can totally relate to being so busy you can’t get it all done yourself, it is so stressful, I’m kind of in the same boat.”</em></li>
<li>I’m sorry, no I can’t… E.G. <em>“I’m sorry, no I can’t go out tonight.” or “I’m sorry, no I can’t pick up that extra work at the moment.”</em></li>
<li>A second positive or empathy statement. E.G <em>“I hope you enjoy yourself though.” or “I hope you are able to find some way to ease the pressure soon.” </em></li>
</ol>
<div> Practicing the No Sandwich on day-to-day things might help me get my own needs met more, manage my time and deal with the demands of saying ‘no’ without having to worry about causing anyone offense. If someone does not accept my No Sandwich, I will offer them another one.</div>
<div></div>
<div>Part of saying no, involves knowing what we do and do not want and accepting those wants and needs as valid. We all have different levels of awareness of our own needs, so part of this week might also involve noticing my own needs and how I respond to them, such as whether I usually tend to put them aside to please others or not. I might start the week by making a list of things I know I need this week, like time to sleep, prepare and eat food, do my work or study tasks, house-work and family time, friends time and alone-time, so I know where my boundaries are on the day-to-day stuff from the start.</div>
<div></div>
<div><span style="font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;">When I am comfortable using the No Sandwich to say ‘no’ in ordinary day-to-day situations, I will add The No Sandwich to my </span><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><span style="font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;"><span style="color: #ff0000;"><a title="Your Personal Coping Kete" href="http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/?page_id=353" target="_blank"><span style="color: #ff0000; text-decoration: underline;">Personal Coping Kete</span></a></span></span></span><span style="font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;"> </span><span style="font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;">as a way of expressing myself during times of stress and distress, when others may be crossing my personal boundaries or asking more of me than I am comfortable giving. When I am distressed, I will be able to use the No Sandwich to say ‘no’ to the things that don’t help me in a positive way. </span></div>
]]></content:encoded>
<wfw:commentRss>http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/?feed=rss2&p=1296</wfw:commentRss>
<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
</item>
<item>
<title>No. 141: Mindfully Observing My Physical Connection to the Moment</title>
<link>http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/?p=1292</link>
<comments>http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/?p=1292#comments</comments>
<pubDate>Thu, 01 Aug 2013 08:23:41 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator>engageblog</dc:creator>
<category><![CDATA[Mindful Distraction]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Self-Soothing]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[awareness]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[breathing exercises]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[connection]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[coping]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[mindfulness]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[relaxation]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[time-out]]></category>
<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/?p=1292</guid>
<description><![CDATA[This week, to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellness...
...I will, practice grounding myself in the physical moment as a way of changing my experiences. This week, I will interrupt myself once a day, place both feet flat on the ground and take a few deep breaths into the bottom of my lungs (see belly breathing exercise here). <span class="ellipsis">…</span> <span class="more-link-wrap"><a href="http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/?p=1292" class="more-link"><span>Read more →</span></a></span>]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>This week, to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellness…</p>
<p><a href="http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/wp-content/uploads/blankcopingkete3.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-150" title="Coping Kete" src="http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/wp-content/uploads/blankcopingkete3-200x300.jpg" alt="" width="200" height="300" /></a>…I will, practice grounding myself in the physical moment as a way of changing my experiences. This week, I will interrupt myself once a day, place both feet flat on the ground and take a few deep breaths into the bottom of my lungs (<span style="text-decoration: underline;"><span style="color: #ff0000;"><a title="No. 6 – Practicing Proper Belly Breathing" href="http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/?p=69" target="_blank"><span style="color: #ff0000; text-decoration: underline;">see belly breathing exercise here</span></a></span></span>). As I breathe, I will focus my attention onto the sensation of my feet connecting with the ground. I will look around me and notice the other sensations I feel as my body connects with the environment around me – the air on my skin, the temperature of the light. After a few moments, breathing slowly and noticing my connection to the space around me, I will turn my attention back to my day.</p>
<p>I might set an alarm on my phone to help remind me to practice turning my attention away from one thing and onto my connection with the physical environment around me in this specific moment. In this way, I will get skilled at letting go of one moment and shifting my attention to something calm and grounding.</p>
<p>When I’m familiar with interrupting an ordinary moment to ground myself in the space around me, I will add the strategy to my <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><span style="color: #ff0000;"><a title="Your Personal Coping Kete" href="http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/?page_id=353" target="_blank"><span style="color: #ff0000; text-decoration: underline;">Personal Coping Kete</span></a></span></span> as a way of coping during times of stress and distress. When I notice myself becoming upset or focused on unhelpful thoughts, I will be able to take some time out to calm my distress before returning to what needs my attention next. The breathing will help me to soothe my physical responses while being mindful of my physical space will distract me from unwanted or unhelpful thoughts.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
<wfw:commentRss>http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/?feed=rss2&p=1292</wfw:commentRss>
<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
</item>
<item>
<title>No. 140: Observe the Facts of the Moment</title>
<link>http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/?p=1287</link>
<comments>http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/?p=1287#comments</comments>
<pubDate>Sat, 20 Jul 2013 12:12:59 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator>engageblog</dc:creator>
<category><![CDATA[Mindful Distraction]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[awareness]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[breathing exercises]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[coping]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[mindfulness]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[time-out]]></category>
<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/?p=1287</guid>
<description><![CDATA[This week, to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing… … once a day, I will practice distracting myself from unhelpful thoughts by mindfully interrupting myself in the middle of an ordinary daily task and spending a few seconds observing and describing the current moment to myself without using any emotional words. While <span class="ellipsis">…</span> <span class="more-link-wrap"><a href="http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/?p=1287" class="more-link"><span>Read more →</span></a></span>]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>This week, to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing…</p>
<p><a href="http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/wp-content/uploads/blankcopingkete3.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-150" title="Coping Kete" src="http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/wp-content/uploads/blankcopingkete3-200x300.jpg" alt="" width="200" height="300" /></a>…<span style="font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;"> </span><span style="font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;">once a day, </span><span style="font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;">I will practice distracting myself from unhelpful thoughts by </span><span style="font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;">mindfully interrupting myself in the middle of an ordinary daily task and spending a few seconds observing and describing the current moment to myself without using any emotional words. </span><span style="font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;">While I am observing and describing the current moment to myself I will practice <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><span style="color: #ff0000;"><a title="No. 6 – Practicing Proper Belly Breathing" href="http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/?p=69" target="_blank"><span style="color: #ff0000; text-decoration: underline;">belly breathing</span></a></span></span> to help me relax. </span><span style="font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;">Once I have observed and described each element of my current moment to myself, I will go back to my task. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;">I could use an alarm to help me remember to interrupt myself each day. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;">I will pass my mind over the space I am in, the people present, what they are doing, what the air feels and smells like, the weather, the sounds around me, the scene out the window, the position of my body in the room, the sensations within my body – all of the physical facts of the moment. If I notice my mind making judgements about anything I observe, I will watch the judgement pass by me like a train and turn my mind back to describing the moment around me. Everything but these observable facts is my perception. I can choose which perceptions to attach myself to and which perceptions to let pass me by. I will remember this as I move back into my task. </span></p>
<p>Once I am comfortable with interrupting an ordinary experience to mindfully connect with the physical moment, I will add the strategy to my <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><span style="color: #ff0000;"><a title="Your Personal Coping Kete" href="http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/?page_id=353" target="_blank"><span style="color: #ff0000; text-decoration: underline;">Personal Coping Kete</span></a></span></span> as a way to interrupt distressing thoughts and get some space from my emotions. When I notice I am getting distressed, I will give myself permission to let go of my worry for a little while and turn my attention to my breath and the physical facts of the moment around me. I will keep observing and describing the physical facts of the situation until I have calmed down and am able to think a bit more clearly about how to cope. As distressing thoughts come into my mind I will observe them as they pass by, without chasing after them and turn my mind back to noticing the physical facts of the situation and continue with my breathing until I am feeling calmer.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
<wfw:commentRss>http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/?feed=rss2&p=1287</wfw:commentRss>
<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
</item>
<item>
<title>No. 139: Replace “I Can’t” with “I Don’t”</title>
<link>http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/?p=1282</link>
<comments>http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/?p=1282#comments</comments>
<pubDate>Thu, 11 Jul 2013 03:20:36 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator>engageblog</dc:creator>
<category><![CDATA[Engagement]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Self-Soothing]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[goal-setting]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[mindfulness]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[private expression]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[self-talk]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[thought balancing]]></category>
<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/?p=1282</guid>
<description><![CDATA[This week, to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing… …I will practice using my word-choices to help me work towards my goals. Often, when we want to make changes, there is something we want to stop doing and other things we want to do more of. This week, <span class="ellipsis">…</span> <span class="more-link-wrap"><a href="http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/?p=1282" class="more-link"><span>Read more →</span></a></span>]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>This week, to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing…<br />
<a href="http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/wp-content/uploads/blankcopingkete3.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-150" title="Coping Kete" src="http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/wp-content/uploads/blankcopingkete3-200x300.jpg" alt="" width="200" height="300" /></a>…I will practice using my word-choices to help me work towards my goals. Often, when we want to make changes, there is something we want to stop doing and other things we want to do more of. This week, I will practice choosing words that focus on my control and power to decide.</p>
<p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><span style="color: #ff0000;"><a href="http://blog.bufferapp.com/a-scientific-guide-to-saying-no-how-to-avoid-temptation-and-distraction" target="_blank"><span style="color: #ff0000; text-decoration: underline;">Research has shown</span></a></span></span> that <span style="font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;">often when </span><span style="font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;">we start telling ourselves<em> ‘I can’t do xyz thing’</em> we tend to want to do that very thing even more. Only one out of ten people who tried to cut back on chocolate by telling themselves “I can’t eat chocolate” actually managed to stop eating chocolate. On the other hand, the same study showed that eight out of ten people who told themselves “I don’t eat chocolate” managed to reach their goal. Telling ourselves that we can’t do things tends to leave us feeling restricted and wanting to rebel against ourselves, telling ourselves that we don’t do things tends to leave us feeling like we control what we choose to do. </span></p>
<p>So this week, I am going to practice noticing myself thinking “I can’t do that now” or “I am not allowed…” and I am going to mindfully replace the word ‘can’t’ with ‘don’t'… “I don’t do that now”. As I move through the week, I’ll try to notice how this affects me, when the strategy is useful and what I do with the strategy to make it work for me. There might be times when I really can’t do something, like fly down to the bus stop, but I might be surprised at just how often the things I think are limits are really choices and preferences that I have.</p>
<p>Once I am comfortable with replacing my can’ts with don’ts on a day-to-day kind of basis, I will add the strategy to my <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><span style="color: #ff0000;"><a title="Your Personal Coping Kete" href="http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/?page_id=353" target="_blank"><span style="color: #ff0000; text-decoration: underline;">Personal Coping Kete</span></a></span></span> as a way of engaging with my goals to stop things that are no longer helpful to me. I will be able to pick up on any unnecessarily limiting thoughts I am having about my goals as things “I can’t do” and use my self-talk to transform the can’ts into don’ts. If there is something I want to change, like to stop drinking alcohol or taking drugs, I will be able to take control of my language to help soothe the pressure from the situation and make myself feel more in charge of what I am doing. I might make a list of the things I feel like I can’t do anymore, and then re-write each item using the words I don’t, and keep the list with me for times when I’m feeling tempted.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
<wfw:commentRss>http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/?feed=rss2&p=1282</wfw:commentRss>
<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
</item>
<item>
<title>No. 138: Visualising My Intentions</title>
<link>http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/?p=1169</link>
<comments>http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/?p=1169#comments</comments>
<pubDate>Sat, 29 Jun 2013 03:15:53 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator>engageblog</dc:creator>
<category><![CDATA[Engagement]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Self-Soothing]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[awareness]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[breathing exercises]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[expectations]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[goal-setting]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[mindfulness]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[problem-solving]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[self-talk]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[thought balancing]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[visualisation]]></category>
<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/?p=1169</guid>
<description><![CDATA[This week, to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing...
...I will practice telling the difference between my expectations and my good intentions and I will get in the habit of letting my intentions guide me instead of my fears. While my expectations are useful, my good intentions bring me back to what it is important to me, back to my values. <span class="ellipsis">…</span> <span class="more-link-wrap"><a href="http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/?p=1169" class="more-link"><span>Read more →</span></a></span>]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>This week, to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing…</p>
<p><a href="http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/wp-content/uploads/blankcopingkete3.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-150" title="Coping Kete" src="http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/wp-content/uploads/blankcopingkete3-200x300.jpg" alt="" width="200" height="300" /></a>…<span style="font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;">I will practice telling the difference between my expectations and my good intentions and get in the habit of letting my intentions guide me instead of my fears. While my expectations are useful, they can get in my way at times, but my good intentions bring me back to what it is important to me, back to my values.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;">This week, I will take a moment every morning to practice </span><span style="font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;"><span style="color: #ff0000;"><a title="Coping Kete #6: Practice Proper Belly Breathing" href="http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/?p=69" target="_blank"><span style="color: #ff0000; text-decoration: underline;">slow, belly breathing</span></a></span></span><span style="font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;"> while I focus my attention on visualising my positive intentions for the day. </span></p>
<p>Before I get out of bed in the morning, I will lie back and do a few minutes of belly breathing.</p>
<p>As I breathe slowly down into my belly and let each breath float back out, I will think about my good intentions for the day by saying to myself “today I would like to ….” and then picturing it happening in my mind.</p>
<p>If my self-critic or inner future-predictor interferes and I start thinking about barriers to my good intentions or reasons why it won’t work out, I will notice the thoughts then come back to my breath and my intentions for the day. After a few minutes, I will open my eyes if I had them closed and move on into my day, carrying my values and positive intentions with me.</p>
<p>In this way, I will get used to setting aside my expectations to get a clear sense of what I value and what I want to happen, so I can carry these things throughout my day and come back to them when I find myself in a tough moment. I’ll also get to start my day off with a bit of calm breathing which might help set me up for a more relaxed day too.</p>
<p>Once I am comfortable with spending a few moments breathing and connecting with my values and wishes rather than my fears and expectations, I will add this to my <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><span style="color: #ff0000;"><a title="Your Personal Coping Kete" href="http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/?page_id=353" target="_blank"><span style="color: #ff0000; text-decoration: underline;">Personal Coping Kete</span></a></span></span> as a strategy for self-soothing during times of stress and upset.<span style="font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;">When I notice I am distressed, I will be able to take a moment to breathe, come back to my own values and intentions as a way of soothing my unhelpful thoughts and problem-solving how I will deal with the situation I am facing. </span></p>
]]></content:encoded>
<wfw:commentRss>http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/?feed=rss2&p=1169</wfw:commentRss>
<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
</item>
<item>
<title>No. 137: Use the Three Gates of Expression</title>
<link>http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/?p=1204</link>
<comments>http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/?p=1204#comments</comments>
<pubDate>Fri, 07 Jun 2013 03:03:22 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator>engageblog</dc:creator>
<category><![CDATA[Expression & Support]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[awareness]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Communication]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[self-talk]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[thought balancing]]></category>
<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/?p=1204</guid>
<description><![CDATA[This week, to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing...
... I will practice effective expression by regularly pausing before I speak to ask myself three questions.
Is it true?
Is it necessary?
Is it kind?
I will let my answers to these questions guide me in what I choose to say and how I choose to say it. In this way I will get used to speaking accurately, saying what I need to say and expressing myself kindly, even if what I have to say might be hard for the person to hear. <span class="ellipsis">…</span> <span class="more-link-wrap"><a href="http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/?p=1204" class="more-link"><span>Read more →</span></a></span>]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>This week, to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing…</p>
<p><a href="http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/wp-content/uploads/blankcopingkete3.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-150" title="Coping Kete" src="http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/wp-content/uploads/blankcopingkete3-200x300.jpg" alt="" width="200" height="300" /></a>… I will practice effective expression by regularly pausing before I speak to ask myself three questions.</p>
<ol>
<li>Is it true?</li>
<li>Is it necessary?</li>
<li>Is it kind?</li>
</ol>
<p>I will let my answers to these questions guide me in what I choose to say and how I choose to say it. In this way I will get used to (1) speaking accurately, (2) saying what I need to say and (3) expressing myself respectfully, even if what I have to say might be hard for the person to hear.</p>
<p>This strategy is inspired by a Sufi saying that translates into English as:</p>
<p style="padding-left: 60px;"><em>Before you speak, let your words pass through three gates.</em><br />
<em>At the first gate, ask yourself, ‘Is it true?’ </em><br />
<em>At the second ask, ‘Is it necessary?’</em><br />
<em>At the third gate ask ‘Is it kind?’</em></p>
<p>As I move through my week, I will practice pausing and briefly reflecting on these three questions in everyday conversation. This will help me work out how to pause myself, how to think about the three questions and how to work my reflections into what I choose to say. It might be that I need to take time out to reflect or I might be able to reflect quickly in the moment.</p>
<p>When I am familiar with doing this kind of reflective communication, I will add ‘Use the Three Gates of Expression’ to my <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><span style="color: #ff0000;"><a title="Your Personal Coping Kete" href="http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/?page_id=353" target="_blank"><span style="color: #ff0000; text-decoration: underline;">Personal Coping Kete</span></a></span></span> as a way of expressing myself during times of stress and distress. When I am upset, I will be able to consider what the grains of truth beneath my reaction are, whether it is necessary for me to talk to this person about this specific thing and how I can express what I have to say kindly and with respect. It might also help me to balance out my thoughts during moments of distress when things can easily become distorted or blown out of proportion.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
<wfw:commentRss>http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/?feed=rss2&p=1204</wfw:commentRss>
<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
</item>
<item>
<title>No. 136: One Thing I Can Do/ One Thing I Like</title>
<link>http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/?p=1197</link>
<comments>http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/?p=1197#comments</comments>
<pubDate>Sun, 02 Jun 2013 00:56:36 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator>engageblog</dc:creator>
<category><![CDATA[Engagement]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Mindful Distraction]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Self-Soothing]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[awareness]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[coping]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[expectations]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[mindfulness]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Pleasure Schedules]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[problem-solving]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Resilience Building]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[self-talk]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[thought balancing]]></category>
<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/?p=1197</guid>
<description><![CDATA[This week, to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing...
...I will practice focusing my attention on the things I can do and the things I like to engage with so I can self-soothe when I am stressed and create positive emotion when I am low. <span class="ellipsis">…</span> <span class="more-link-wrap"><a href="http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/?p=1197" class="more-link"><span>Read more →</span></a></span>]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;">This week, to attain, maintain or regain my sense of wellbeing…</span></p>
<p><a href="http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/wp-content/uploads/blankcopingkete3.jpg"><img class="size-medium wp-image-150 alignleft" title="Coping Kete" src="http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/wp-content/uploads/blankcopingkete3-200x300.jpg" alt="" width="200" height="300" /></a>…I will practice focusing my attention on the things I can do and the things I like to engage with so I can self-soothe when I am stressed and create positive emotion when I am low.</p>
<p>To prepare, I will take a page in a notebook and divide it into two columns. The first column, I will title ‘One Thing I Can Do’ and the second column I will title ‘One Thing I Like’ (see example below).</p>
<p>To practice, I will take a moment at the end of each day to write down an example of ‘One Thing I Can Do’ and ‘One Thing I Like’ from my day. In the ‘One Thing I Can Do’ column, I will write down one thing that I did that day that I think I did well and what skill it involved. In the ‘One Thing I Like’ column, I will write down one thing from my day that I enjoyed or appreciated and what it was that I liked about it. If I’ve been having tough times for a while, it might be hard to do this because I will be out of practice at noticing these things and I might have stopped doing a lot of the things I am good at and like. If I find it hard, I will have compassion for myself and practice noticing the smallest of small signs of ‘Things I Can Do’ or ‘Things I Like’ – for example, getting out of bed, showering and single moments of laughter.</p>
<p>As I move through the week, I will think through my growing list and know that there are things I can do to get through and things I like that can change my mood. As my awareness grows I will start trying to mindfully do those things when I notice my mood is low or my thinking is negative. This week, I will practice building the evidence that lets me remind myself “there is always one thing I can do and one thing that I can enjoy.”</p>
<p><span style="font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;">Once I am comfortable noticing what I can do and what I like, and mindfully doing those things, I will add this to my </span><span style="font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;"><span style="color: #ff0000;"><a title="Your Personal Coping Kete" href="http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/?page_id=353" target="_blank"><span style="color: #ff0000; text-decoration: underline;">Personal Coping Kete</span></a></span></span><span style="font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;"> as a way of coping with distress. When I find myself feeling stuck, hopeless or unsure of myself, I will be able to self-soothe by coming back to my old list to remind myself of all I can do to get through and change my mood and engage with a way of shifting my experience by doing just one of the things I can do and one thing that I like. This strategy could become self-soothing, engagement or mindful distraction depending on how I used it. </span></p>
<p><strong>My notebook columns would look something like this… </strong></p>
<p><a href="http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/wp-content/uploads/CopingKete_OneThingICanDo_OneThingILike.jpg"><img class="alignnone size-medium wp-image-1201" title="CopingKete_OneThingICanDo_OneThingILike" src="http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/wp-content/uploads/CopingKete_OneThingICanDo_OneThingILike-250x300.jpg" alt="" width="250" height="300" /></a></p>
]]></content:encoded>
<wfw:commentRss>http://www.engagenz.co.nz/copingkete/?feed=rss2&p=1197</wfw:commentRss>
<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
</item>
</channel>
</rss>