Incorporate feedback for Evan mill machine text

All credits to @tbpassin

book/history/sourdough-history.tex

@@ -185,12 +185,11 @@ \chapter{The history of sourdough}%
 bread rolls like these were ultimately consumed by the noble people
 in Vienna~\cite{vienna+breadrolls}.
 
-As industrialization began inventors like Oliver Evans, in \num{1785}
-developed improved mill devices~\cite{evans+mill} incorporating several
-innovations, including automated machinery for various milling processes.
-This eventually evolved to steam-powered grain mills, more efficient than
-traditional water or animal-powered mills.  Those steam-powered mill marked a
-significant advancement in industrial technology for bread making.
+Industrialization of the grist milling process, starting in the late
+18\textsuperscript{th}~century with Oliver Evans (\num{1785}) and his mill
+designs for continuous hands-off flour production~\cite{evans+mill}, and
+evolving to steam-powered mills, made possible significant advancements in
+bread production.
 
 \begin{figure}[ht]
   \includegraphics[width=\textwidth]{sourdough-stove}