goodevents

 found a pair of Nikes
 caught a unicorn
 discovered a secret, underground passage
 was taught to run quickly by a secret tribe of pygmies that know how to, among other things, run quickly
 discovered caffeinated coffee
 grew an extra leg
 was visited by a very pretty nymph
 found love
 found an exploit in the IRPG code
 tamed a wild horse
 found a one-time-use spell of quickness
 bought a faster computer
 bribed the local IRPG administrator
 stopped using dial-up
 invented the wheel
 gained a sixth sense
 had his clothes laundered by a passing fairy
 was rejuvenated by drinking from a magic stream
 was bitten by a radioactive spider
 hit it off with a drunk sorority chick named Jenny
 is a lucker noob
 bought special idlerpgbucks
 drew a foil mythic rare from a booster pack
 deleted his Facebook
 found a tits
 drunkenly bought the jackbox party pack
 did not have to use his AK today
 went to a festival
 invented time travel before inventing time travel after inventing time travel