[bugfix] fix checks for deref the same status descendants / ascendants

[NyaaaWhatsUpDoc]

Description

See title. Also some little refactoring to increase code reuse, reduce log string length and hopefully provide more useful information in the case of tracing.

Checklist

• I/we have read the GoToSocial contribution guidelines.
• I/we have discussed the proposed changes already, either in an issue on the repository, or in the Matrix chat.
• I/we have performed a self-review of added code.
• I/we have written code that is legible and maintainable by others.
• I/we have commented the added code, particularly in hard-to-understand areas.
• I/we have made any necessary changes to documentation.
• I/we have added tests that cover new code.
• I/we have run tests and they pass locally with the changes.
• I/we have run go fmt ./... and golangci-lint run.

[NyaaaWhatsUpDoc]

fixes #2174